Some pluses and minuses from the other side of 60

Turning the corner on 60 certainly has its rich and rewarding moments just as it does the ones which rob and take away from the joys of growing older.
Here are some of the pluses and minuses I see of the world from the other side of 60.
 

Pluses:

• Wearing suspenders without people laughing.
• The senior citizen discount on a cup of McDonald’s coffee.
• Senior citizen menus with reduced portions and still having enough food leftover for the next day’s lunch.
• Being able to give a young person your decades-worth of sage advice, even when it’s unsolicited, which is almost always the case.
• Using your cane and then having a pretty young girl open the door for you. (Much to the chagrin of my wife, Bev).
• Becoming a grandfather; easily the world’s best job.
• Being called “Bumpa Korn” by your youngest grandchild.
• Having a neighbor come over and shovel the snow from your driveway.
• At age 62 being called a “young man” by someone in their 80s.
• York Peppermint Patty (yeah, I enjoyed them when I was a youngster but not as much as I do now, especially since they’ve been named a “low fat” food.)
• A cup of sweetened warm milk at 3 a.m.
• Long Sunday afternoon naps.
• Being ask by someone “how are you?” and then going into a 10-minute spiel about the status of your health, the too hot/too cold, too wet/too dry weather and the generally poor state of today’s politics. (This is a Constitutional Right of all senior citizens though I forget which amendment.)
• Taking longer to think about what you really need in the way of a Christmas present and then failing to come up with an answer.
• Being eligible at age 66 to buy reduced-cost Ohio resident fishing and hunting licenses.
• When your birthday no longer seems so important while your wedding anniversary does but even more so.
• Knowing that you’ll always have friends that you can call on for help, even if it’s just to listen.

Minuses:

• Thinking that a Buick four-door sedan may actually be a good-looking car worth buying.
• Senior citizen menus with reduced portions and still having enough food left over for the next day’s lunch.
• Being eligible at age 66 to buy reduced-cost Ohio resident fishing and hunting licenses.
• Con-artists, swindlers, flimflam men and other lowlifes who take advantage of the elderly.
• Finding out that the young person you wanted to give your decades-worth of sage advice to thought the better of it, saying “I don’t believe anything that old coot says.”
• Forced to toss out a perfectly good sport coat simply because it’s made from polyester clothe.
• Wii bowling tournaments for senior citizens. Heck, Wii ANYTHING.
• Forgetting where you set your glasses down and then discovering they’ve been on top of your head all along.
• Knowing that the sweater you wear to the office is older than some of your coworkers.
• Revealing to a youngster how old you really are and then hearing him/her simply say “wow.”
• Being asked to umpire a family game of Whiffle Ball instead of being picked as a player.
• Insisting that any new television or remote MUST have closed caption.
• The seemingly never-ending visits to doctors, especially the specialists.
• Forgetting that you never, but never, wear black socks with either sandles or shorts. (Isn’t there a law on the books against this social ill?)
• Dealing with a health care insurance company over who pays the prescription bill. Before my health problems began I had no idea how ruthless are these health insurance companies.

- Jeff Frischkorn